- Pak Guard UIA PJ- sekumpulan manusia yang aku cukup meluat kat UIA ni. Tidak pernah putus asa diorang ini untuk memastikan pelajar di sini mendapat saman walaupun sekadar kesalahan kuku panjang. Ingat kitorang ni ape??Pelajar tadika?? Bukan ape,nanti takut pihak pentadbiran cakap diorang makan gaji buta.
- Sales Assistant/Promoter yang tak tahu pape pun pasal produk yang diorang jual.Bila tanya,mulalah terkial kial atau menggelupur cari manager.Ada yang hebat sikit,kita tanya diorang,diorang tanya kita balik.Baik tak payah kerja camtu.Menyirap tol aku.
- Orang yang merokok kat stesen minyak.Ini memang aku paling pantang.Bukan apa,aku pun merokok gak tapi tak la smpai bodoh nak merokok kat tempat camni.Hormat la sikit orang lain.Diorang ni bodoh ke apa?Kalau meletup tak ke naya semua orang yang kat stesen tu.Kalau tegur,mula buat muka taik. P/S: kalau nak mati,pergi mati sorang sorang.
- Insan yang memilih movie untuk ditonton kat kaunter.Aku pelik betul dengan spesies ni.Time beratur tak nak plak diorang pilih movie apa nak tgk.Berpeluk pelukan boleh plak.Time dah sampai depan kaunter baru la sibuk menggedik gedik nak pilih movie.Korang pernah tak kene camni???
- Orang yang tak reti beratur time nak bayar barang.Sesuka hati mak bapak diorang je potong line.Pastu buat muka bodo.Ko ingat duit ko besar sangat ke??Aku pon ada duit kot.
- Golongan manusia yang tak reti parking.Diorang ni ada lesen ke tak???Apsal parking kereta cam bengong.Ada ke masa amik lesen diorang ajar parking kereta kat simpang jalan.Tak ke tu menyusahkan orang lain nak kuar masuk jalan kat situ.Gunakanlah otak yang dikurniakan Tuhan dan tolonglah jangan pentingkan diri sendiri.Ini aku tujukan khas kat pemandu pemandu di taman perumahan aku.
- Pemandu tak reti guna signal.Bila kita nak terlanggar dia,mula la keluar segala bahasa kesat.Ni la manusia,salah sendiri tak nampak.
- Orang yang tak pandai tunggu orang keluar dari LRT/Monorel/lif. Kita baru nak melangkah keluar mereka dah meluru masuk lalu menyebabkan kita tersangkut.Hotspot situasi ini adalah di stesen Putra Masjid Jamek & KLCC time orang balik kerja.Nak kata bodoh,semua kerja tinggi.So,fikir fikirkanlah..
- Konduktor bas Metro yang sibuk menyuruh orang memenuhkan ruang kosong walaupun dah tak ada ruang pun untuk dipenuhkan.Nyonya tu buta ke apa???Da tahu penuh tak payah la nak ambil penumpang lagi.Buat apa nak tamak tamak??Bukan gaji naik pon kalau ko sumbat orang ramai ramai dalam bas tu.Haih..
- Sekumpulan remaja yang pergi ke konsert semata mata nak buat huru hara.Benda ni jadi time konsert All American Rejects kat KL baru baru ni.Member kat atas stage nyanyi lagu Mona Lisa,diorang da sibuk moshing & crowd surfing kat bawah.Tu lagu slow kan bodo???Asal la korang layan cam bangang.tak pasal pasal amoi comel depan aku meraung kaki org naik atas kepala dia.hahaha
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
My Shitlist
Sepanjang aku hidup kat dunia ni,da macam macam da yang aku jumpa.Ada yang menarik,ada yang mengundang kebencian.Kat sini aku nak share sikit ngan korang sedikit sebanyak golongan yang aku benci.
"Second Chance"
I found the phone
I must’ve missed your message
You got it wrong, It wasn’t what your friend said.
I can tell by your tone, I’ve taken it too far again.
Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again.
Your friends are telling you, You gotta move on.
Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again.
You turned around so I could tell you what took so long.
I don’t know why i ever waited to say.
'cause I’m just dying just to see you again .
Instead of holding you, I was holding out.
I should’ve let you in, but I let you down.
You were the first to give ,I was the first to ask.
Now I’m in second place, to get a second chance.
I should've known, took you and I for granted
Gotta let you know, I was never underhanded.
Tell by your tone, I’ve taken it too far again.
Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again.
My friends are telling me they saw you with someone.
Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again.
You turned around so I could tell you what took so long.
I don’t know why i ever waited to say.
'cause I’m just dying just to see you again .
My last mistake, putting my friends first.
I tried to laugh it off but I made things worse.
You were the first to give, I was the first to ask.
Now I’m in second place, to get a second chance.
What you give is always what you get.
There's so much I haven't given yet.
If you could give another second chance.
Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again.
My friends are telling me they saw you with someone.
Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again.
You turned around so I could tell you what took so long.
I don’t know why I ever waited to say.
'cause I’m just dying just to see you again .
My last mistake, putting my friends first.
I tried to laugh it off but I made things worse.
You were the first to give I was the first to ask.
Now I’m in second place to get a second chance.
You got it wrong, It wasn’t what your friend said.
I can tell by your tone, I’ve taken it too far again.
Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again.
Your friends are telling you, You gotta move on.
Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again.
You turned around so I could tell you what took so long.
I don’t know why i ever waited to say.
'cause I’m just dying just to see you again .
Instead of holding you, I was holding out.
I should’ve let you in, but I let you down.
You were the first to give ,I was the first to ask.
Now I’m in second place, to get a second chance.
I should've known, took you and I for granted
Gotta let you know, I was never underhanded.
Tell by your tone, I’ve taken it too far again.
Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again.
My friends are telling me they saw you with someone.
Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again.
You turned around so I could tell you what took so long.
I don’t know why i ever waited to say.
'cause I’m just dying just to see you again .
My last mistake, putting my friends first.
I tried to laugh it off but I made things worse.
You were the first to give, I was the first to ask.
Now I’m in second place, to get a second chance.
What you give is always what you get.
There's so much I haven't given yet.
If you could give another second chance.
Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again.
My friends are telling me they saw you with someone.
Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again.
You turned around so I could tell you what took so long.
I don’t know why I ever waited to say.
'cause I’m just dying just to see you again .
My last mistake, putting my friends first.
I tried to laugh it off but I made things worse.
You were the first to give I was the first to ask.
Now I’m in second place to get a second chance.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Who's smarter....?
Four MBA students were boozing till late night and didn't study for the test which was scheduled for the next day. In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt. Then they went up to the dean and said that they had gone to a wedding last night and on their return the
tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
The Dean was a just person so he said that you can have a retest
after three days.
After 3 days they said they were ready. On the third day they
appeared before the dean. The Dean said that as this was a special condition
all four were required to be in separate rooms for the test.
They all agreed as they had prepared well in last three days. The test
consisted of two question with a total marks of 100.
Q1. Write down your Names. (2 marks)
Q2. Which tyre burst ? (98 marks)
;p
tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
The Dean was a just person so he said that you can have a retest
after three days.
After 3 days they said they were ready. On the third day they
appeared before the dean. The Dean said that as this was a special condition
all four were required to be in separate rooms for the test.
They all agreed as they had prepared well in last three days. The test
consisted of two question with a total marks of 100.
Q1. Write down your Names. (2 marks)
Q2. Which tyre burst ? (98 marks)
;p
30 Things To Do In An Exam When You Know You're Going To Fail It Anyways!
1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Ali, Ali, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a PSP. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Be as vulgar as possible during the exam, make sure every sentence has every other word as a swear word or some sexual innuendo for example.
9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.
14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)
15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
24. Masturbate.
25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Chelsea. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme of Negaraku.
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a PSP. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Be as vulgar as possible during the exam, make sure every sentence has every other word as a swear word or some sexual innuendo for example.
9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.
14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)
15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
24. Masturbate.
25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"
26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Chelsea. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme of Negaraku.
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
The Secret Behind Name
"There is one happiness in life, to love and be loved"
Instructions:
What you do is find out what each letter of your name
means.
Then connect all the meanings and it describes YOU.
PS : If you have double or triple letters, just count the meaning
once.
For Example : R A H I M
A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
C You definitely have a partier side in you, don't be shy to show it.
D You have trouble trusting people.
E You are a very exciting person.
F Everyone loves you.
G You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H You are not judgmental.
I You are always smiling and making others smile.
J Jealously
K You like to try new things.
L Love is something you deeply believe in.
M Success comes easily to you.
N You like to work, but you always want a break.
O You are very open-minded.
P You are very friendly and understanding.
Q You are a hypocrite.
R You are a social butterfly.
S You are very broad-minded.
T You have an attitude, a big one.
U You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V You have a very good physique and looks.
W You like your privacy.
X You never let people tell you what to do.
Y You cause a lot of trouble.
Z You're always fighting with someone
Instructions:
What you do is find out what each letter of your name
means.
Then connect all the meanings and it describes YOU.
PS : If you have double or triple letters, just count the meaning
once.
For Example : R A H I M
R You are a social butterfly.
A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
H You are not judgmental.
I You are always smiling and making others smile.
M Success comes easily to you.
A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
H You are not judgmental.
I You are always smiling and making others smile.
M Success comes easily to you.
A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
C You definitely have a partier side in you, don't be shy to show it.
D You have trouble trusting people.
E You are a very exciting person.
F Everyone loves you.
G You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H You are not judgmental.
I You are always smiling and making others smile.
J Jealously
K You like to try new things.
L Love is something you deeply believe in.
M Success comes easily to you.
N You like to work, but you always want a break.
O You are very open-minded.
P You are very friendly and understanding.
Q You are a hypocrite.
R You are a social butterfly.
S You are very broad-minded.
T You have an attitude, a big one.
U You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V You have a very good physique and looks.
W You like your privacy.
X You never let people tell you what to do.
Y You cause a lot of trouble.
Z You're always fighting with someone
Love Progress
Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose ?
Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today ??
Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the
living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.
Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.
Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good !
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight ?
6 years : AGAIN !!!!
Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against
you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said ??
New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again ???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me ?
Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound ??
6 months : What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane ?
6 years : Travel ? What's so bad about staying home ???
TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to
bed,I can stay up by myself.
;p
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